Mr. Chinchilla's Movie Burrow

So Mr. C. finally checked out a copy of Milk out from his local video store. Truly, that store should not be in business because it has a really rank odor. It's kinda like rotten tomato mixed with stale beer and cigarette smoke. I dunno why anyone goes there but it must be all the porno the shop stocks in the back room. Yeah, that's gotta be it come to think of it because why else would a funky smelling video store stay in business unless it were a front for some illegal activity. Hmmm. Now the chinchilla's getting off topic again, damn.

Anyhoo, this Milk film keep getting raves from everyone so the chinchilla had to see for himself what all the fuss was about. And Mr. C.'s gotta say that his anticipation was greater than his fulfillment here because as freaking fucktastic as Sean Penn is in this flick, Milk just didn't have that "wow" factor for him.

First of all, there's no Bruce Willis in this film--not even a frickin' cameo. I mean, you got James Franco from the Spideyman picture, but you can't score Bruce W. for your movie? How difficult would it have been? Not to mention, but I will mention because I want to, there's no Jessica Alba in the film, either. Now that's no surprise, but I'm just sayin'.

And, of course, the major sin of the movie that I shouldn't have to mention to you, either, but I will because I want to: There ain't any chinchillas in the movie. Now Mr. C. understands that chinchilla discrimination isn't a hot topic or really even a topic in America now, but Hollywood really needs to wake up and smell the coffee because chinchillas get no respect. Hell, I bet Anita Bryant doesn't even count any chinchillas among her friends.

Lemme see. No Bruce Willis, no Jessica Alba, no chinchillas, one baptism scene and one fucktastic Sean Penn performance equal 2 1/2 out of 5 stars.