The Chinchilla Interviews: Jenny of Jennyville

Hi, Jenny! I've been reading your blog, and I know before we begin that I'm really going to dig conducting your interview with the chinchilla! I think I saw something in one of your posts that said you answered questions, and it looked like you might have expected some payment if the answers were good. Of course, all the answers I get in these interviews are good, so I hope you're not expecting any payment--especially in fur. Do you wear fur? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. You don't have to answer that.

Ok. You know how this goes.

First, I'd like to thank you for having me! Wow, an interview with Mr. Chinchilla... I'm honored. And no, I don't wear fur, so just relax. :)

1. You've visited the Mystery Hole. Wouldn't you agree that "West Virginia: Home of The Mystery Hole" is a much groovier state slogan than "West Virginia: Open For Business." Or, if you don't agree, what should be West Virginia's new slogan?

Not only do I agree, I'd say you could throw pretty much anything after "West Virginia:" and it would be better than "Open For Business." You know, like... "West Virginia: An Abundance of Roadkill." Or "West Virginia: Sometimes We Do It With First Cousins." Those are both an improvement, in my opinion.

2. Hollywood's called and it's time for the filming of your biopic. Who plays you and what's the title of your life story?

Paul Reubens (in full Peewee Herman character) will play the role of me. Life will be played by Chuck Norris. It'll be called "So it goes," and few will get the reference. (Pardon me while I pour a 40 for Vonnegut.)

3. Let's shift gears. Convince the chinchilla why he should ride a rollercoaster that approaches speeds over 70 mph.

I would only recommend that if there are chinchilla-sized belts to strap you in. Safety first!

4. What is it that you enjoy most about blogging, and because I love two-part questions, is there anything that you don't enjoy about it?

A. What I enjoy most about blogging is the groupies. What I enjoy second-most about blogging is exercising my incredibly juvenile sense of humor with my awesome readers (all three of them) who occasionally humor me by playing along with the silliness. There are few things in life I enjoy more than a good laugh, and I'd do this for a living if I could.

B. There's only one downside to blogging for me: there are always a few raging morons out there amongst the cool folks, and every once in a while, you have to deal with one or eighty-seven of them. ;)

5. The chinchilla's leaving you a radio station in his will. How do you plan on programming it, and what are the songs you'll play in the first half-hour?

I have had a few stints on college radio, back in the day. I suspect I wasn't any good, but I enjoyed the crap out of it. If I had my own station to do as I please with, the programming would consist mostly of music, comedy, and the finest PSAs the Department of Health has to offer on STDs (although those last two are pretty much the samething, aren't they?). My first half hour would probably go something like this:

Wilco - I Am Trying To Break Your Heart

The White Stripes - Hotel Yorba

Led Zeppelin - When The Levee Breaks

Elvis Costello - Chemistry Class

Elliott Smith - Coast to Coast

The Beatles - Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Howlin' Wolf - I'm Gonna Leave You Woman

Soundgarden - Kickstand

Scott Matthews - Dream Song

The Descendants - Kabuki Girl

Crap... is that half an hour? I'm not sure. :\

6. This question's all about the nutsack. You've introduced us to the nutsack songs. Can you give us some books with "nutsack" in their new titles?

I'm fairly partial to "Breakfast of Nutsacks," actually, though"The Scarlet Nutsack" ain't bad either... How many nutsacks did you want, exactly?

[I'll answer that--you had me at Breakfast of Nutsacks!]

7. Ok. I'm going to get serious with this one. If you could travel back in time (not forward....) for only one event, where would you go and why?

One event... Hmm. I'd like to go back to my high school graduation and give myself practical advice regarding my future. Things like"Don't sweat the little stuff," and "Don't get shitfaced and pass out in the parking lot after vomiting all over the entrance to the SouthBranch Inn."

8. I dig that you have your own domain name for your blog (I know some dude who does the same thing, but I'm not gonna interview him). Can you think of any reason that you would not host your own blog, and on a somewhat related note, why am I having difficulty finding your older entries?

There are 1,799 reasons (monthly) why I would not host my own blog. They all look a lot like this.

You are having difficulty finding my older entries because the jackass that coded the site for me (aka Mr. 'Ville) won't get off his butt and code a proper archives section. :D

I requested it for the first incarnation of Jennyville back in 2004, so at this rate, I figure I just might have one by 2083. :) It's just as frustrating for me as it is for you, trust me... but, if you have some time on your hands, you can go read all of the posts youwant by changing the post number at the end of this url:http://www.jennyville.com/post.php?334 Not every number has a post assigned to it, but most do - though, why anyone would want to inflict that upon themselves, I don't know.

9. Time for the old standard (although it hasn't even been a week yet since I started this) question: Would you ever consider wearing a giant chinchilla mascot costume?

Consider it? I'd DO it! Do you have one?

[Not yet--I seem to have miscalculated the supply/demand curve for wearing the giant chinchilla costume.]

10. Final question: Where's your favorite vacation spot?

I can kick back anywhere, as long as it's 1) nighttime, and 2) about 80 degrees.

Thanks, Jenny, for being so kind as to interview with the chinchilla. It's been a blast and I hope we can do it again!

No, thank YOU, Mr. Chinchilla! We can totally do this again anytime. :)